Peer pressure and social norms are powerful influences on people’s behavior and expectations of others.
Who sets the “rules” for social norms?
Everyone has their own journey.
Get married
Have children
Siblings are a must
Send your children to the top schools
Make sure your children are “popular”
Have grandchildren
People’s lives don’t work this way. We can plan for our future, but we can’t predict them.
People change. Look at ourselves ten, twenty years ago and think of who we were then. We are not the same people now.
We marry, divorce, remarry, and have blended families. Tragedies hit, and we are faced with loss, job changes, moves, and pandemics. Some people don’t marry and are happy being single, and although there are those who feel that we are here to procreate and have children, I disagree. Many choose not to have children, and they make tremendous contributions to our lives and to society. Having children should be a thoughtful decision and one made with great import.
There are siblings who are very close, but one doesn’t have to have a sibling. Studies have shown, regardless of the myths surrounding the only child, that “only” children do remarkably well. Many times as adults, siblings rarely see one another and some don’t particularly like one another, given the toxic relationships that may exist.
Sending our children to the so-called “top” schools does not guarantee success. Every child is different and requires various avenues for education. Those who attend a trade school can be successful. The real question becomes: What works best for the individual child, and what their interests are. This is where our children will find fulfillment and enrichment.
Some parents live vicariously through their children, and it is important for these parents that their children are “popular” and “successful.” They are constantly speaking with the teachers to gain points for their children and guiding them down the paths the parents want, rather than what the children want. We benefit our children by encouraging “their” originality.
It is worth questioning these social norms as well as the many others. Most importantly, I would stress that if you are going to have children, understand the enormous responsibility, raise them the very best that you can, and do not abuse them. Our world is filled with adults who were abused and neglected as children and the consequences are widely evident.
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